From GLP-1 medications and diet trends to cosmetic procedures and anti-aging treatments, changing one’s appearance has become increasingly common — and children are paying attention. Many parents are left wondering how to explain these personal decisions.
Stephanie Wijkstrom, founder and CEO of the Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh, spoke with Pittsburgh Parent about how parents can navigate these conversations while promoting bodily autonomy and self-acceptance.
This interview was edited for length and clarity.
How can parents talk to their children about changes to their appearance while helping them develop a healthy relationship with their bodies?
Having an open dialogue with children is vital, especially when a parent is having procedures that significantly change their appearance. It is recommended that parents talk to children about their motivations to feel better and healthier, rather than focusing on the way that they appear. This will also buffer children against placing undue attention on their own physical appearance, instead using the more stable metric of feeling good in their bodies. Parents using GLP-1s can frame such medications as part of other health-building activities such as working out and eating nutritious foods.
How can parents talk about health goals without creating anxiety about weight or body image?
If you are using GLP-1s as a starvation regime, children will see that you are not eating enough to nourish your body and mind. Don’t focus on losing pounds — focus on enhancing health. Don’t focus on body weight — make sure that your child understands that beauty looks different for everyone.
How can parents explain changes to children in age-appropriate ways without implying that aging or natural features are flaws?
For children under 5, keep explanations concrete and specific (for example, “Mommy is going to see a doctor and will have a little boo-boo in her belly for a few weeks.”). Be sure to talk about any activity or lifting restrictions after a procedure that could change the way you are able to interact with your little one. Take their signal — do they ask why? If so, explain that you want to feel your personal best. For older children, you can provide more detail, like, “I want to remove the extra skin above my eyes.” Focus on what you personally want and let it be known that your behavior is a personal choice.
How can parents avoid tying attractiveness or self-worth to weight or appearance?
Hearing a lot of negative comments coming from a parent about the way that they look definitely sends a lasting negative message to children. Avoid self- body shaming. Make positive comments about beautiful elderly people — highlight the inner fire that you see glistening in Grandma’s eyes when she tells a story. Emphasize character — don’t overemphasize in yourself or others simply what looks “good.”
What signs suggest a child is internalizing harmful messages about appearance, and how can parents intervene early?
If a child starts to restrict their food intake or becomes preoccupied with the way their body looks, this should be explored with a medical or mental health professional.
What’s the most important takeaway for parents?
Emphasize that, as an adult, you are able to make choices about your body that make you feel like your best self, and always strive to move toward what makes you most healthy, strong and able.
