Most kids go through a picky eating phase from age 2 to 4, and many continue to be picky eaters well into their teens. But turning picky into adventurous eaters is as much about what you don’t say and do. Here’s what the experts suggest:
Don’t demand or threaten your kids to eat
If you want your kids to eat a variety of foods, one of the worst things you can do is to force it on them. “Demanding or threatening your child can be frustrating and lead to arguments, which can lead to negative associations with certain foods,” says Clinical Child Psychologist Dr. Britt Evans. One large-scale study found that kids who were pressured to eat certain foods as toddlers were significantly pickier eaters by the time they reached school age. Other studies show that pressuring kids to eat certain foods leads to less consumption of fruits and vegetables, and that negative attitudes towards food last into adulthood.
Instead, says Rachel Ehmke of the Child Mind Institute, “Try to respect your child’s preferences while gently encouraging them to try new foods.” Pediatric Occupational Therapist Alisha Grogan suggests that parents simply put the desired foods in front of their kids and then allow them to decide whether and how much they’d like to eat. “If you think about it,” Grogan says, “they’re really in control of this anyway—and they know it!”
Don’t use food as a reward
“Asking your child to eat non-preferred foods like vegetables to gain access to a ‘reward’ food like dessert might work in the short term,” Evans says, “but is counterproductive in the long term because it can enforce the idea that certain foods (e.g., sweets) are inherently ‘better’ than others (e.g., veggies).” Amy McCready, the founder of major parenting resource Positive Parenting Solutions, puts is even more pointedly: “Why should they get to eat something bad for doing something good?” she asks. Instead, try to make your kids think of healthy foods as enjoyable in their own right.
Don’t ban sweets
This doesn’t mean that you should ban sweets or other “bad” foods
altogether. Banning sweets only make them more exciting, which can lead to overindulging and abuse. Instead, says Dr. Dina Rose, a sociologist and author of “It’s Not About The Broccoli,” discuss with your kids how often and how much candy they can eat.
Don’t label your kids
Your kids may be picky eaters, but don’t call them that to their face or behind their backs to others. You’re effectively encouraging your kids to conform to the very behavior that you’re criticizing. As McCready puts it, “Children own the labels you bestow upon them.”
Using positive labels can also be problematic, McCready says, because one child labeled the “good eater” can encourage sibling rivalry.
Don’t make a separate meal
Your kids may not like what’s for dinner, but that doesn’t mean that you should
make a separate meal just for them. Instead, says Sally Sampson, author of “The
Picky Eater Project,” offer some “boring” alternatives that make them more likely to at least try what’s for dinner.
Don’t patronize them
When your kids finally decide to try a new food, resist the urge to say, “I told you that you’d like it.” Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker with expertise in kids and nutrition, suggests, “Let the child make the decision to taste it at their own pace, and pause, letting them tell you how they felt about it. If they don’t like the taste, you can praise them for trying it by saying, ‘Wow, you’re very brave! It’s not easy to try new things, but you did it!’”
Try, try—and try again
It isn’t easy to turn a picky eater into an adventurous one, but it can be done if you’re careful about what you say—and don’t say. As Morin puts it, “Raising an adventurous eater means raising a child who feels confident in and is given space
to make decisions about what goes into their body.”
Tanni Haas, Ph.D., is a professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences and Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.
