How to leave a relationship with a child involved

Children's Drawing

Ending a relationship is complicated on its own, let alone when kids are involved. If you’re a parent, you obviously want the best for your child. So, even if you and your partner no longer love each other, you want to ensure that your breakup doesn’t affect your kids. So if you’re trapped in a relationship with kids, and it seems like there’s no way out – this article is for you.

How to go through a relationship breakdown with a child

It’s no secret that staying in an unsatisfying relationship will do you no good. However, even if you understand the situation and what’s making you unhappy, your child might get confused and anxious because of the atmosphere at home. The decision to end a relationship with a child involved should never be an impulsive one. That is why you should consider the following steps to make sure that you’re doing everything right.

Step 1: Be open with your kids

It is important that your kids know what is going on. Leaving them in the dark about your breakup may result in them feeling that something is wrong but not knowing what it is, most likely leading to them blaming themselves. To avoid that – let them know about the plan to split up but without getting into the ugly details. Try to explain to your kid that their life won’t change and they will get the same amount of love and attention as before. Splitting up with a partner with a child can sometimes make them feel like their voice isn’t heard. So make sure your kid is always listened to and can express their opinion about what’s happening.

Step 2: Explain what is happening

If your child doesn’t yet know about the concept of divorce – it is important to explain it to them. Explain to the kids that they are in no way responsible for what is going on. Tell your kids that the decision to split up lies solely on you and your ex. Reassure them that the love they’re getting now won’t be limited just because their parents are no longer a couple. You can also mention that even though you and your ex are no longer together, you will always be their parents. That will never change.

Step 3: Come to terms with your ex

One of the most crucial steps of figuring out how to leave a marriage with a child is reaching an agreement with your ex-partner. Try to solve things out without taking them to court. Even if you have a toxic relationship – it’s not your kids’ fault, so don’t make things ugly in front of them.

Also, the more issues you can discuss and resolve before meeting each other in court, the less uncertainty you’ll have. It is always best to decide in advance who the child will stay with after ending a long-term relationship with a child. If you and your ex-partner manage to agree on that peacefully before meeting the judge, you might even speed up your divorce.

Step 4: Set a schedule

When leaving a relationship with a child seems like the only option left, you need to set some ground rules. Splitting up with kids will require you to forget about your disputes and focus on what is necessary for your child. Set a routine for their visits with each parent – they will need your active presence in their lives more than ever! It is critical to remain calm and positive during drop-offs and never interfere with the other parent’s “child” time. Ending a relationship when you have a child is never easy, but if you keep yourself together, you might eventually be able to smooth things out.

Step 5: Find some forgiveness

When thinking about how to break up with someone you live with and have a child with, many people focus primarily on technical stuff such as custody or setting visiting dates, etc. Not everyone thinks about the proper closure of the relationship. Figuring out ​​how to get out of a relationship with a child also requires ending the relationship without tension and inner resentment towards your ex-partner. Children are sensitive towards these things, and even if they don’t understand what’s going on, they might still feel the tension. So, you might want to start working on your forgiveness. In the long run, it will help not only your child but you as well. Allow yourself a fresh start without holding any bad feelings towards your ex.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, now you know how to leave a partner with a child and won’t feel intimidated by the whole process. Remember that it’s not just about how to get out of a bad relationship with a child. It’s also about teaching your kid how to deal with difficult situations like this one. If you manage to get out of the relationship with grace – it will be an excellent example for your kid.


Natalie Maximets is a certified life transformation coach at She has expertise in mindfulness and sustainability. She is a published author focused on the most progressive solutions in the field of psychology. Natalie helps people go through fundamental life challenges, such as divorce, and build an entirely new life by reframing their personal narrative.